Dear … I wish I could call you friend; I don’t know what to call you, so I’ll start another way.
I did something I regret through eternity. But what I regret the most may surprise you.
I was the one who betrayed Him. I thought He was going too far and instead of walking away I betrayed Him and made some money for my troubles. Who is this man they call the King of the Jews? This was too much for me to bear- for I did not know Him as a king but as a friend.
Have you ever wished you could take a moment back? This moment becomes what defines who you are in the eyes of the world. We know we are so much more than that one moment. One mistake doesn’t make up all of who I am.
I was there when He fed the 5,000. I was there when He healed the blind, and the leppers and the lame, and performed more miracles that I can count. I heard all His talks. Every word He uttered. Oh, if you could only have seen the things my eyes and ears beheld. People held me in high esteem because of Him. When He sent us out and believed that we could do what He did I was humbled, but then something changed. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus that’s all I ever heard. No one called my name unless they were asking for access to Him. I could also heal; He shared that gift with me. But no one came looking for me just Him. I felt small and knew that with Him around I always would. Satan can confuse us like that, slip lies into our heads that shift the focus from what’s important to what’s insignificant. I fell for the lie. Jesus knew I did, the last time we ate together when He consecrated bread and wine and fed me His own body, He knew. That night He still washed my feet, knowing I had betrayed Him and was just biding my time to seal the deal. He fed me and prayed with me.
Have you ever wished you could take a moment back? I tried to, after I saw the cost of my betrayal. What did 30 pieces of silver buy? The violent beating of my beloved friend. Accusations against Him that were made up. His crucifixion. An innocent man, I was the cause of this. I caused all this pain. I saw His mother’s tears and I hid.
You would think that this is my greatest regret. It actually isn’t. My greatest regret is forgetting His words. Forgetting that He spoke of love and forgiveness. That He would forgive me, if I had only asked it of Him. If He told us to forgive 70×7 times how many more times would He forgive me. Do not squander your chances as I did. Seek Him out. You are redeemable. That is the purpose of the cross, to pay the price we cannot pay. Come back to Him.
Wherever you are in life, what ever lie you have believed, you are loved by Him. Your sin doesn’t change how He sees you but how you see yourself. Come back to Him, repent and know that He listens and loves.
Be blessed and encouraged,
For Holy Week I wrote some meditations from the perspective of those who were there. Every day I will release a new one and I hope you are all blessed by them and led to the foot of the cross. Earlier this month I wrote from the perspective of Mary, if you missed it you can find it here https://findinggodintheeveryday.com/2022/03/07/my-son-is-yours/. Yesterday I wrote from Peter’s perspective, if you missed it you can find it here https://findinggodintheeveryday.com/2022/04/11/meditations-from-the-foot-of-the-cross/
Dear heartbroken friend,
There was a day that I would love to forget. I am sure you have had your share as well. I thought I had one job, to be a support to a friend whose son was dying. I walked with her and held her hand, wiped her tears and heard all she was trying to keep hidden in her heart. Turns out she did all that for me too. Have you ever walked with a friend who was suffering? You watch as they try to be strong in the middle of their storm. You realize at one point that you are suffering too. That watching them is tearing your heart in two. You realize that you love them and what hurts them hurts you too.
But love has a capacity that cannot be measured. It is in those darkest moments that you find that love is greater than you can imagine. I was there when the sun refused to shine. I longed to return home and erase what I had seen and see no more of the worst this world had to offer. How was it possible for anyone to laugh when someone was being treated so cruelly? This was someone’s son. A beloved friend, my savior. I realized that day, that there could only be one savior- I was called to be a witness.
A witness does two things, first a witness sees all that is transpiring. And second a witness repeats what they have seen. At the foot of the cross I saw a Saviors love poured out patiently for all of us. I also saw the courage of a mother whose heart was pierced in two, knowing that her yes had led to this and also knowing that her yes would lead to more. Sometimes we want to be saviors and feel frustrated when we can’t right the wrongs or heal the broken. It is in those moments that I remember the day at the cross and while I wanted to stop all that was happening, I knew that I wasn’t called to be a savior- we only have one of those. I was called to be a witness.
You are called to be a witness. To stand and shine light in the midst of darkness. To share love and encouragement with those entrusted to you and to lean on the cross and gather strength to share with others. As Christians when we witness, we bring Jesus into the situation; whatever it may be. Today, be a witness. Let God’s redeeming light shine through you and light the world on fire with His love.
Be blessed and encouraged,
For Holy Week I wrote some meditations from the perspective of those who were there. Every day I will release a new one and I hope you are all blessed by them and led to the foot of the cross. Earlier this month I wrote from the perspective of Mary, if you missed it you can find it here https://findinggodintheeveryday.com/2022/03/07/my-son-is-yours/
Have you ever dropped the ball? Have you ever felt you disappointed someone you loved dearly? I felt the whole world collapse around me one day. I had promised to be faithful to stand by His side and then in a moment of panic I caved. The world was stronger than I was. I was surrounded by the ugliness of a mob, calling for the blood of my friend, and while I tried to be strong, to be His support I found that He was the strong one and that I wasn’t.
Please do not let those moments of weakness hold you back. It was at that moment that I realized that I was walking with God, but I wasn’t God. God already knew I would fall, He himself predicted it but my pride denied it. Sometimes when we betray a friend, we feel like we can never go back to where we were. But I’m here to tell you that there is always hope. Dear friend, my friend forgave me. We are all forgivable. Even before I failed, He knew it, warned me and loved me anyway. That very night He washed my feet. He fed me and entrusted to me the feeding of others. Yet I failed.
Don’t focus on the failed moments of our lives. That’s where most of us want to live. When we sit in our failure, we can miss the whole meaning of redemption. When I look at the cross, I see that He knew and loving me still He made a way back for me. It is up to me to take up this very generous offer of love poured out. The crime isn’t in failing. The true crime is letting His sacrifice for me sit there waiting on a cross. My dear friend, when I look at the cross, I see an infinite number of reasons for me to return to Him. I see an infinite number of expressions of love. This is what His love did for me. What do I return to that love? I return to it even though I have fallen, even if it is an infinite number of times. It is that love that calls me and paying the price sets me free to come to Him.
Be blessed and encouraged,