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Meditations From the Foot of the Cross Day 3

Dear … I wish I could call you friend; I don’t know what to call you, so I’ll start another way.


I did something I regret through eternity. But what I regret the most may surprise you.

I was the one who betrayed Him.  I thought He was going too far and instead of walking away I betrayed Him and made some money for my troubles.  Who is this man they call the King of the Jews?  This was too much for me to bear- for I did not know Him as a king but as a friend. 

Have you ever wished you could take a moment back?  This moment becomes what defines who you are in the eyes of the world.  We know we are so much more than that one moment. One mistake doesn’t make up all of who I am.

I was there when He fed the 5,000.  I was there when He healed the blind, and the leppers and the lame, and performed more miracles that I can count.  I heard all His talks.  Every word He uttered.  Oh, if you could only have seen the things my eyes and ears beheld.  People held me in high esteem because of Him.  When He sent us out and believed that we could do what He did I was humbled, but then something changed.  Jesus, Jesus, Jesus that’s all I ever heard.  No one called my name unless they were asking for access to Him.  I could also heal; He shared that gift with me.  But no one came looking for me just Him.  I felt small and knew that with Him around I always would.  Satan can confuse us like that, slip lies into our heads that shift the focus from what’s important to what’s insignificant.  I fell for the lie.  Jesus knew I did, the last time we ate together when He consecrated bread and wine and fed me His own body, He knew.  That night He still washed my feet, knowing I had betrayed Him and was just biding my time to seal the deal.  He fed me and prayed with me.

Have you ever wished you could take a moment back?  I tried to, after I saw the cost of my betrayal.  What did 30 pieces of silver buy?  The violent beating of my beloved friend.  Accusations against Him that were made up.  His crucifixion. An innocent man, I was the cause of this. I caused all this pain. I saw His mother’s tears and I hid. 

You would think that this is my greatest regret.  It actually isn’t.  My greatest regret is forgetting His words.  Forgetting that He spoke of love and forgiveness.  That He would forgive me, if I had only asked it of Him.  If He told us to forgive 70×7 times how many more times would He forgive me.  Do not squander your chances as I did.  Seek Him out. You are redeemable.  That is the purpose of the cross, to pay the price we cannot pay.  Come back to Him.

Wherever you are in life, what ever lie you have believed, you are loved by Him.  Your sin doesn’t change how He sees you but how you see yourself.  Come back to Him, repent and know that He listens and loves.

Be blessed and encouraged,