I was recently invited to speak at a marriage retreat with my husband.  I was so excited. I mulled over a few ideas and thought I would speak about the most famous married couple of all, Mary and Joseph.  When I prayed on it further, I kept receiving a cord of three strands as the theme.  Let’s get this straight, I am not a paratrooper – I have no idea of cord strength, the value of a 2 strand cord vs a 3 strand cord or anything else like that, but I just kept feeling that the three stranded cord was to be my direction.  When I googled it- I just started laughing- little did I know God had already long ago written about a 3 stranded cord in the bible.

Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12

Two are better than one: They get a good wage for their toil. If the one falls, the other will help the fallen one. But woe to the solitary person! If that one should fall, there is no other to help. So also, if two sleep together, they keep each other warm. How can one alone keep warm? Where one alone may be overcome, two together can resist. A three-ply cord^* is not easily broken.

I pondered this for a while. Why would you emphasize the importance of two, the strength of two and the benefit of two, then at the end just add in-as a by the way- a 3 ply cord is not easily broken. That last bit made no sense, until of course it did.

I remembered an article Scott Hahn had posted about marriage in Croatia.  When you announce your engagement, people congratulate you on finding your cross. No one says wow you found your perfect person. On the contrary! Instead, they say to them: “You have found your cross. It is a cross to love, to carry it with you, a cross that is not to throw away but to treasure.”

When the bride and groom enter the church on their wedding day, they carry a crucifix with them. The priest blesses the crucifix. When the time comes to exchange their vows, the bride puts her right hand on the crucifix and the groom puts his hand on hers, so that both hands are joined together on the crucifix.

The priest covers their hands with his stole as they exchange their vows, according to the rite of the Church, to be faithful to each other, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, till death do them part. Then, instead of kissing each other, the bride and groom kiss the crucifix. Those who witness the ceremony understand from it that if one of them leaves the other, he or she leaves Christ on the Cross.

After the ceremony, the newlyweds bring the crucifix to their home and put it in a place of honor. It will forever be the point of reference and the place of family prayer. In times of difficulty, the family do not go to the lawyer or the psychiatrist, but kneel down together before the crucifix in search of help from Jesus Christ. They kneel down and maybe even cry and open their hearts asking the Lord and each other for forgiveness. They go to sleep with peace in their hearts because they have received forgiveness from the only one who has the power to save.

Husband and wife will teach their children to kiss the crucifix every day and not to go to sleep like pagans, without first giving thanks to Jesus. They know that Jesus is holding them in His arms and there is nothing to fear.

PS Here is where you find the lowest divorce rate in all of Europe.

This is the cord of 3 strands.  In every marriage two become one.  The Priest says “what God has united let no man tear asunder.” Jesus is the third strand of this union. Marriages that have Jesus as its center strand are stronger because, you don’t only lean on each other you can lean on Christ. I’ve been married for over 30 years, Jose and I made a promise to each other to always keep Christ at the center of our marriage.  Have there been times where we got distracted, allowed other things or obligations to come between us? Yes of course, but we always come back to Jesus. We have found that our strength doesn’t come from ourselves, but is always found in Jesus. He is the very definition of love. His goal is always to draw you closer to Him and through Him each other. A Priest at my cousin’s wedding told them- “Judy – your job is to get Jason into heaven and Jason your job is to get Judy into heaven.” Many of us forget that love is sacrifice. But this is what Jesus teaches us on the cross. That love is sacrifice. It is willing the best for someone else and doing all possible to get them to heaven.

My prayer for you today is that you allow Jesus to be the third strand in your marriage. That you allow Him to be the glue that binds you and transforms you into love.

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