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A King’s Secret
“A king’s secret it is prudent to keep, but the works of God are to be declared and made known” Tobit 12v7
This is a biblical verse I have carried around for many years. When I first read it, I literally stopped and let it settle in my heart. It is what compels me to share my faith-even (especially) when I’d rather stay silent. This verse is what motivates my blog and is why today I am sharing a testimony.
Lectio Divina- Many of us are familiar with this way of praying the bible, It’s a meditative way of reading the Bible in which we let go of our own agendas and open ourselves to what God is trying to say to us. For those who are new to this-here is a quick intro to Lectio Divina
- Reading. Read a passage slowly and carefully within the bible. …
- Meditation. Read the passage again, thinking deeply or dwelling upon a spiritual reality within a text. …
- Prayer. Having a loving conversation with God.
- Contemplation. Resting in God’s presence.
- Action. Go and do likewise
Earlier this year I was introduced to Lectio Divina in a zoom class I was taking through Encounter School of Ministry (https://encounterschool.org/) The verse we were given was Matthew 8 5-11 The healing of the Centurian’s servant.
When he entered Capernaum, a centurion approached him and appealed to him, saying, “Lord, my servant is lying at home paralyzed, suffering dreadfully. “He said to him, “I will come and cure him.” The centurion said in reply, “Lord, I am not worthy to have you enter under my roof; only say the word and my servant will be healed. For I too am a person subject to authority, with soldiers subject to me. And I say to one, ‘Go,’ and he goes; and to another, ‘Come here,’ and he comes; and to my slave, ‘Do this,’ and he does it.” When Jesus heard this, he was amazed and said to those following him, “Amen, I say to you, in no one in Israel have I found such faith. I say to you, many will come from the east and the west, and will recline with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob at the banquet in the kingdom of heaven.
I immediately became excited because at every Mass when we pray-Lord, I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed, I pray under my breath- “send your word to my children as well and meet them on their road to Emaus” Like most parents today, I worry over my children’s faith journey. A few of my kids no longer attend Mass. So being assigned this reading for our group, I felt like God was winking at me. He was, but not how I expected. Our group leader read the scripture three times- the first time we were to just receive it, the second time we were to ask God what part of the scripture He wanted us to rest at. The third time we read the scripture we were to ask God what message He had for us.
The second time we read the scripture I wanted to rest at “Lord I am not worthy that…” but I felt the spirit saying no, not there keep going, I was surprised but kept going “send your word” no, not there either- the fruit is further along. This is where I felt the Spirit say here- this is for you. “I say to you, many will come from the east and the west, and will recline with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob at the banquet in the kingdom of heaven.” I remember being surprised and then I scrunched up my nose and said there Lord? Are you sure? What could you possibly have to say to me in this verse?
Are you ready? I sure wasn’t. I felt that gentle voice within say google the phrase “many will come from the east and the west” and find where else it exists in the bible.
Before I go on-the reason I am sharing this with you is because when God feeds one of His children, He expects us to share. His promises are not just for a few but for all His children. So, parents who are reading this – this is for you as well! I want to make sure that when you read this you know that this wasn’t just for me- it’s for you too! This is what I found.
I read this over a few times and just felt God hug me through His loving words. My kids are His kids. He is more interested in their salvation than I am. In His time, He will lead them all home. My job is to stay steady in prayer and thanksgiving, all the while planting seeds of love and faith that He will bring in.
St Peter says in his letters to always be ready to share the reason for your hope. Jesus is my hope. The way that God shares His abundant graces and continuously reassures us and feeds us demonstrates His love in a tangible way. I may not be able to touch it, but I can surely feel it in my soul.
I hope this testimony lifts you up as much as it did me. Anytime I read a testimony, I see it as food for the journey. It sustains us as we walk towards heaven.
It all starts on Christmas
This Christmas I want to share with you something that happened to me. You may begin to read this and think it’s better suited for Lent, but stay with me. About 10 years ago I was in a bad car accident. I had so many internal injuries i felt my middle name was pain. I remember clinging so much to Jesus to get through it all. A few weeks after a spinal surgery I was at a weekday Mass. I remember sitting there and as always offering this Mass for the salvation of my children. I can imagine many parents pray for the same thing. I could hear this small voice inside of me saying “what will you give in exchange for their salvation?” I was in shock! We make deals with Jesus – usually over a toilet bowl after drinking too much- or another crisis moment. We promise anything to get whatever we are praying for. I had never heard of God making a deal with me- I will trade you something for what you want. I questioned Him “Lord is this really you?” and again the voice- “what will you give for their salvation?” Jesus I would give anything I thought- truly anything to ensure my little ones were kept close to the heart of Jesus. The voice again questioned “would you give your leg?” I was double shocked… this could not be Jesus speaking to me. He DOES NOT make deals!
I pondered that question. I was already in so much pain. Really how could God want more than the suffering I was already offering up? In the end I grudgingly responded, “ok take my leg, but don’t ask me which one- that would be just too much for me.” Then silence. I continued through Mass and was reflecting on all that had happened in just a space of a moment. I could not believe that God was asking this of me. I thought back to all the bible stories I knew and could not think of one where God made a deal with man. In the contrary man was quite often making deals with God. I remembered how Abraham had haggled with God for the lives of those in Sodom, going back a few times to renegotiate the terms until he got the number from 50 to 10.
At the end of Mass, I heard the voice again. “Come and contemplate me on the altar.” The weekday Masses were given at the little chapel behind the main altar. Of course, at His summons, I rise and walk to the main altar not knowing where this is going. This is what I see:
I focused on the crucifix and hear the voice again “ I don’t need your leg; I want their salvation more than you do.” All I could see was Jesus on that cross given up for each one of us. This is how much God is invested in our salvation. He had given not a leg or sent His word that had created everything out of nothing, He was willing to give His only begotten son.
Why is this better suited for Christmas? Well, it’s a gift that God gave me and I want to share with you. To all you parents out there worried about your children. God wants their salvation more than you do! These words gave me so much hope and peace. I just knew that all the stupid mistakes I made could not undo God’s plan for me. The same with my children. As I watch them grow and explore life, not always making the choices I would, I pray and know that God has a plan for them as well. To all of you that do not have children, drink in the love of the Father sent in this message. “I want it more than you do!” We may struggle and go off course but if we place our trust in God, we can be confident in knowing that He wants our salvation more than we can imagine. Continue to come back to Him with the confidence of a beloved child. You will always be loved.
One last thing; I am the youngest of nine(my mom was a living saint!) There was always chaos and an abundance of love in our home. One day in frustration I asked her as I saw my older siblings falling for the lures of the world; “mom, you are such a godly woman, and have raised us in the church, don’t you get frustrated that your children are falling away from the church?” Her response stays with me till this day. “My job is to plant the seeds; it is up to God when He will harvest them. I have planted good seeds.” That had to be at least 35 years ago and as I look at our family now, I see that God is harvesting these good seeds planted with love. So, continue to plant good seeds, and know that in His time God will harvest them in your children.
Merry Christmas. I pray that this testimony touches you and that the hope of Christ is reborn in you this Christmas!
Finding God In The Everyday 